honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
