Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
