We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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