i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize