i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize