We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize