Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize