i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
