At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize
