so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
She needs sedatives and a leash
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
