so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
