then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
