Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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