He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
