Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
