I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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