We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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