how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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