Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize