I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
