worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
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i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
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