yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Randomize
