She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
