no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
