Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
where am i from again
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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