Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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