real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
