Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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