So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
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I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
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Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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