How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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