A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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