So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
