jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
