I wannas sexs uuuuu
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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