My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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