hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
