She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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