Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
