Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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