just come out here and I will go home with you...
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
