sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
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His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I have feelings that need drinking.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
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I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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