Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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