Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
