afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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