whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
