I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
