Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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