Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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