His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Randomize
