just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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