Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
