oh god the rape fog is back!
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
