well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
