So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize