Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
