we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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