My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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