he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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