So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
